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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here. Starting tomorrow, there are going to be some very special guests at Chateau Kerby. As such, I've been doing intense renovations to our second bedroom, which up until this point has served as a combination editing suite and shoe closet. During these renovations, I've found at least three packages of Pez from who knows when. Yes, I ate them. They were delicious. So in honor of my living through this experiment, I'm buying this Lamar Odom "The Candyman" t-shirt. Available at L.A. Purple and Gold, a website specializing in excellent Lakers t-shirts, the shirt is a nice take on the Odom Loves Candy meme. It also does a great job of adding creepy feet to an inanimate object, which is always a plus in my book. And while the juxtaposition of "Candyman" and Los Angeles might bring back some terrible memories, this shirt is sweet. Like Pez. (Confectioners' zing!) Ball Don't Lie's Swag Rating: Four Muggsy Bogues ... via The No-Look Pass

Over at the main site, I wrote up a piece on Padraig Harrington's up-and-down year; check it out right here. His upswing this year coincides almost exactly with his downswing last year. Creepy, huh? Here's the lead:

ATLANTA - When you win two majors in a season, realistically there's only one direction to go: down. But for Padraig Harrington, nobody could have possibly predicted how fast and how far he would fall.

If it were possible to take a mulligan on a year of golf, Harrington would leap at the chance. Harrington put together an exceptional 2008 that saw him capture the British Open, the PGA Championship and Player of the Year award. Right after the PGA, though, things turned south for Paddy, and in one of the strongest indictments of golf's playoff system, the reigning two-time major winner missed qualifying for the 2008 Tour Championship.

Ironically, life turned bright again for Paddy almost exactly one year later. In August, he began showing up on leaderboards again and now stands as the only golfer to place in the top 10 of all three playoff events. He enters this week's Tour Championship ranked No. 6, revitalized, recharged and ready to challenge for an event he couldn't even conceive of competing in last year.

Read the whole thing right here.

Like 2008's Nail in the Coffin series, 2009's Walk Toward The Light aims to memorialize the eliminated teams that are gone and will likely be forgotten. Cleveland Indians Current record: 61-89 Season highlight Hmm. Off-the-field alternatives involving bobbleheads and beer might be tempting for a team that disappointed so deeply, but the 10-run comeback against the Rays on May 25 — in the middle of LeBron James season — ranks up there with great Tribe moments of all time. Ryan Garko(notes) (moment of silence) started the comeback with a home run in the fourth inning and Victor Martinez(notes) (moment of silence) broke an 0-for-18 spell with the winning hit. Also worth mentioning: Screwing up the Yanks' first homestand with a win in the inaugural game at The House That Paul O'Neill Built and following it up with a 22-4 pasting on the first Saturday afternoon in the park. Season lowlight It's already happened, right? You have a couple of dozen hundred from which to choose (trading an ace left-hander for the second straight season?) but how about the the buzzkill generated by Yahoo! Sports' own Curtis Granderson(notes), who stole a game-winning home run from Grady Sizemore(notes)? Curse you, Curtis! We knew the Indians were done for when ... Pronk went down. Slugger Travis Hafner(notes), in the midst of a comeback season, went on the disabled list after the April 28 win against Boston. He was on the way to getting screwed out of an All-Star invitation again when the injury bug bit him. Again. Read the rest of this entry »

The Whiteout is a playoff tradition the Phoenix Coyotes carried over from the franchise's days in Winnipeg. This photo was taken in 2002 against the San Jose Sharks in the Western Conference playoffs and provides evidence of (a) Coyotes fans actually filling some seats under the right conditions and (b) the beleaguered team's last playoff appearance. It's a symbol of hockey fan solidarity behind their local team, and it's being resurrected for one of the most symbolically important nights in the history of the franchise: Saturday, Oct. 10, which is opening night at Jobing.com Arena against the Columbus Blue Jackets. After their preseason attendance was placed under the media microscope, it's clear the gate for this game is going to be headline news around the hockey world. So the Coyotes had decided to get aggressive with their opening night pricing: As in offering every ticket downstairs for $25, and offering every ticket upstairs for $15 for one night only It's a bold attempt to show media, fans and perhaps themselves that the bankrupt franchise teetering on the brink of relocation truly does have dedicated local fans -- especially now that Jim Balsillie has conceded that Hamilton is out of the picture for this season. Read the rest of this entry »

It was one part Spiderman, one part Man on Wire, one part Showgirls and all parts stupid. A 34-year old fan at a Canadian Football League game climbed a goalpost last weekend in the middle of a game and then shimmied down 40 feet to the waiting arms of police.

Alcohol was involved, confirmed police in the least surprising announcement of all-time. The man was arrested but not charged with criminal trespassing, as would have been likely had this occurred in the United States. Instead the man received a provincial offence notice. That'll show him! And in case you're wondering why police caught the guy when he dropped from the crossbar (instead of letting him fall, which would have been my natural inclination), any injury involving police must be investigated by Ontario's Special Investigative Unit.

Ron Artest(notes) will take the blame if the Los Angeles Lakers don't repeat as champs next year. That was the big hook, line and tweet quote from Monday's AP story. "They won last year, and I'm the new addition," Artest said. "The fans expect to repeat. Everybody in L.A. expects a second ring. If we don't then yeah, they should point it right at me, throwing tomatoes and everything." And while that's all good and gentlemanly — especially for Lamar and Khloe Odom — there was a second, more hilarious part from the AP that not too many people picked up on — Artest's astonishing grasp of California geography. Michael Hurley of NESN explains:

The Lakers' newest forward appeared Monday at an event in San Diego to promote an exhibition game between the Lakers and Nuggets at the San Diego Sports Arena, and while he showed enthusiasm for his new team, he also showed that he may need to spend some time studying maps of his new state. 'I didn't realize how far L.A.'s tentacles, or whatever you want to call them, extend, all the way to San Diego," he told The Associated Press. 'I thought I was going to be getting some Golden State Warrior fans, because I didn't know where I was at. Most of the fans are Lakers fans, so that's great.' It should be noted that San Diego lies approximately 120 miles south of L.A., while the Golden State Warriors play their games in Oakland — roughly 360 miles north of Los Angeles.

It should also be noted that Artest played three years in Sacramento! Man, this guy kills me.

There's been no public mention of a coordinated effort — not that I can find, anyway — but the Sons of Steve Garvey point out that it appears the Dodgers are preparing their faces for an extended run during the postseason. Jon Garland(notes), Manny Ramirez(notes) and Matt Kemp(notes) certainly look ready for the effort and SoSG has a closer look at a number of other team members, including the always ready-for-October Casey Blake. Playoff beards have generally been the property of hockey players (and their dork fans) and the tactic does seem a little more suited toward the ice warriors. After all, even a first-round loss means hanging around for at least two weeks and a two-month run to the Finals means being able to eventually challenge Grizzly Adams. Compare that to baseball, where a three-game sweep in the LDS means barely getting past the peach fuzz stage. Still, I admire any team-building effort and the Dodgers' season-long dominance means they've had the luxury of a head start. I don't think I'm fully sold on the idea, but any excuse to link to a picture of Rick Sutcliffe is always a good one. Fashion Ump ruling: Infield single

Thank You, Kurt Rambis. Thank you for this incredible pic of Julius Erving and Larry Bird just chillin' with their mustaches in front of a graffiti'd brick wall. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Best caption/imaginary conversation wins Dr. J's signed tank top. Good luck. After the jump, Michael Jordan, signin' in his dorm room. Winner, Noam S: "Just a spoonful of Jordan makes the '91 Lakers, '92 Blazers, '93 suns, '96 Sonics, '97-98 Jazz, and the Bobcats franchise, go down ..." Co-runner-up, Brad K: Taken immediately after a post-practice shower, this picture provides the first piece of evidence that the great Michael Jordan was, in fact, a "Never Nude." Co-runner-up, HC: The umbrella (derisively called "Raindrops" throughout college by Michael) was later berated during Michael's HOF speech. Said Michael: "Raindrops thought that it could cover me. That Umbrella couldn't cover me. It still can't cover me!"

Not all the recent news about the Cardinals is of the happy-go-lucky "we're headed to October!" sort. In fact, at least one current headline is really sad. On Tuesday, the team voided the contract of 16-year-old Wagner Mateo, a prospect from the Dominican Republic who signed for a team-record $3.1 million bonus back in July. (The deal was also a record for a Latin American amateur position player.) The team cited "pre-existing injuries and physical defects" as the reason for nixing the deal and pulling back the bonus cash. ESPN.com reported that Mateo has vision problems and while the team won't confirm or deny that (citing privacy laws), the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that the team sent Mateo to a number of specialists to "ascertain the problem and any possible solutions." In the ESPN.com report, Mateo's agent said the vision problem could be blamed on "faulty contact lenses" that infected his corneas. Given that the Cardinals had 90 days to get out of the contract, they're not doing anything incredibly out of line here. Still, you have to feel for Mateo, who's back to being a free agent and you can also expect an even higher level of scrutiny when it comes to teams signing international prospects. Also, let's hope this isn't it for Mateo, too. That's some awfully tough news to take when you thought you were already well on your way to the top.

Obsessing over the statistical anomalies and minutiae of close and closer-than-they-looked games that could have gone the other way.

Virginia Tech 16, Nebraska 15. The 'Huskers may agonize over the defensive lapse at the end of this game, the only big pass it allowed at the worst possible time, but the first quarter was just as emblematic of the final margin as the last. Both offenses found themselves with early opportunities inside the opposing 25-yard line after big kick returns; Virginia Tech turned the field position into a touchdown, Nebraska settled for the field goal. Settling for the field goal was the theme of the Huskers' afternoon, especially in the first half, where they kicked on four consecutive possessions with the ball inside the Tech 25. With the Hokies looking thoroughly hopeless on offense, a touchdown on any of those drives might have put them away -- as would either of the touchdowns Nebraska had nullified on consecutive snaps in the third quarter (one for a holding penalty, one for failing to gain full possession with a foot down inside the baseline) before a series of penalties and sacks forced a punt on 4th-and-goal from the Hokie 37. Even a field goal there might have ultimately won it in spite of Tyrod's Taylor ad libbed, 81-yard heave to Danny Coate to set up the winning touchdown. I've highlighted Nebraska's turnovers on the right (one of them coming on a last-second hail mary on the final play), but just like South Carolina last week, the difference in a tight game was one team's inability to get the ball into the end zone when it had the chances while forcing the other to resort to kicks and a prayer. Read the rest of this entry »